I recently had a conversation with a woman who shared some personal things about her recent relationship. She was engaged to be married with this guy, prior to the engagement
they dated for 2 years, and they eventually moved into an apartment together. She proceeded to tell me about some lies that he told, that started to catch up with him such as, where he worked, where he graduated college, why his last relationship ended….etc.
After catching him in so many lies,
she still didn’t just up and leave him….keep in mind that this is the man that she’s about to marry. Therefore, she didn’t want to just give up on the relationship, even though she caught him. Long story short, this guy ended up being a fraud, getting credit cards in her name which resulted in him damaging her credit, being an overall pathological liar. Once she found out her credit was messed up, that was the final straw and she packed her bags and left that relationship completely alone.
All while this is going on, she’s in college, trying to build a career, all while trying to be independent while away from her parents (who lived in California) and become a responsible young adult through paying bills etc. Her life was completely shattered, and everything that she had hoped for was now over.
So what do she do? Do she quit school and give up? Do she continue to fight for a broken relationship? Do she sacrifice everything she stand for, for a man just because he put a ring on your finger? …..ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! She proceeded to finish school, build her career by getting a job that she actually love, and is in her field of study. Her head is on stronger than ever, and her guards are up when it comes to dating men.
Before we parted, I asked her this simple question…What would you have done differently in your relationship now looking back on it?
***She said, “We moved entirely too fast. We was so in a rush to get married and move in together that we really didn’t take the time out to get to know each other. I had no idea who I sleeping with every night. He was a completely different person, than the man I first met. So, if I could do it all over again, I would’ve taken my time to get to know him better…instead of rushing”
I was in awe the entire time she was telling me her story, but most importantly, it taught me something valuable. Don’t be in such a hurry that you don’t take time to know exactly what you’re getting yourself into. Whether it’s a relationship, friendship, job, etc. Have you taken all the necessary precautions to make sure this isn’t something artificial?
My favorite scripture in the bible is Proverbs 4:23 “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life”
Anytime I try to get ahead of myself, this scripture remind me to slow down and guard myself. Some things and some people aren’t meant to be in your life, sometimes you have to guard yourself from anything that’s not good to you, and for you. Getting to know people more, eventually can expose their hidden motives, be patient with the process and investigate fully before you rush head into something and potentially end up with a fraud.
Prayer** Father God, you know us inside and out. You see us when we come and when we go. Protect us from things and people that aren’t good to us and for us. Remind us to always guard our hearts above all else. Help us to remind that one wrong decision can cost us heartache and pain. Give us the wisdom to decipher the good from the bad. Help us to pay attention to the warning signs early on in our daily interactions throughout life. Help us to stay consistent in pursuit of our destiny, even when our hearts are broken. Show us how to stay consistent in the midst of adversity. Give us the courage and strength to let go of anything or anyone that’s in or around us that’s not like you. In Jesus Name, Amen.